Dear Michael Jackson,

Today you died at the young age of 50. My first thoughts were: not Michael, he's untouchable....god, I'm old.....followed by nothing but tears.

While I'm sure some of those tears were postpartum hormones getting the best of me. Some of those tears were real. They were for you.

I am sad that you are no longer on this earth as dear MJ. You were the embodiment of all things wonderfully eighties. Of my troubled childhood during good moments. Of everything so badass that no one could stand it.

You were so beautiful. But then, we corrupted you. Our insatiable desire to know everything about you, to just literally have a piece of you, ripped you and your boy heart to pieces. You didn't really know how to pick those pieces up and put them back together coherently. So, you just pieced yourself together the best you could, while we all watched, with our magnifying glass, aghast at your transformations.

Michael, I'm sure that you are in a better place right now, but you are also dearly missed.

I don't know what you've done artistically in the last ten years. But what you did before that, I will never forget. Neither will the world. Because, We are The World.

You are a beautiful shining star. So bright, so light, so forever.

I love you Michael Jackson.

May you find the peace you never had.

What's In a Box?

"This is Better Than Sex Cake," Mama Fran pointedly said after opening the fridge and setting down a whipped creamy rectangle of goodness. Greg's grandma has a way of dead pan frankness that can catch one offguard, that is, if they're not used to seeing sweet looking ladies tell like it is sometimes.

The second time I met Mama Fran she went from one topic to the next, inserting a conversation about pandas being shown porn to stimulate copulation, like she was discussing yesterday's weather. This is of course why I was instantly won over by her. A sweet little lady who isn't afraid to share her thoughts! Can't get enough.

It makes one pause, at least it did me. No sense in trying to assume how a sweet looking lady is going to act. She doesn't have to look rough around the edges to be able to let loose.

Back to the cake. It truly was quite delicious. Not, better than sex. Well, then again, I guess that depends upon your history.

So, for those of you who want to try it out, here you go:

Better Than Sex Cake

1 yellow box cake (plus whatever the ingredients are on the back of the box)

1 20 oz. can crushed pineapple

1 C sugar (or less depending upon your sweet tooth)
1 small instant package of vanilla pudding + milk (for the pudding)

1 1/2 C heavy whipping cream
1/2 C sugar

1-2 C shredded coconut

1. Bake the cake per the directions on the box. If you have something a little larger than a 9 1/2" by 13" pan, use that. Otherwise, your end product will be over the top of the pan.

2. While the cake is baking, put the pineapple and 1 C sugar in a pot. Bring it to a boil.

3. Let the pineapple sugar mixture cool down. Poke holes in the top of the cake with a fork. Spread pineapple mixture on top of the cake.

4. Make the vanilla pudding and spread on cake before it sets. Refrigerate until set.

5. Make thick whipping cream by mixing the sugar and cream with a blender until it's sufficiently thick. Spread the whipping cream on top of the pudding and put the cake back in fridge to set.

6. Sprinkle liberally with shredded coconut.

7. Enjoy! Before...during...or after!

On the Title and Birth of a Blog

So, I've finally decided to listen to little conversations I've been having with myself and create a blog. First, I have to admit (so that you know I'm right there with you), I know I am crazy for doing this. For those of you who don't know, I really dislike being on the computer, specifically having to type or stare at a screen for any length of time. A large part of this dislike is due to an injury that has been teaching me many lessons (which will be the subject of later posts). So, I know most of you will probably be equally surprised given my lack of email contact in the past year, or more, for which I am genuinely sad about.

What drove me to face my contradiction? First, I've realized through reading my very close friends' blogs, Ambra and Heather (see sites I love), that I've been able to stay updated with their growth and evolution in a more holistic way than a phone call or letter. I've seen Ambra's beautiful creation, Sonia, develop from a baby to a little girl; I've loved seeing Sonia's personality blossom as though she was right before me even though she is thousands of miles away. I have seen Heather's art/being evolve in ways I would never 'see' in my mind just from hearing about them. I have treasured and savored each little post as though it was written just for my daily consumption. What's more, so can everyone else in their lives who reads their blog, on a regular basis or not. So, here I am at reason number 1: one 'email' aka 'blog post' equals many updates equals less typing and computer time equals Sedna-happy.

Second, here I am at a very fantastic time in my life, with growth happening left and right, thoughts stirring in my insomniac mind like never before, and life burgeoning - figuratively and literally - from my uterine arena. Reason number 2: second chakra creativity I surrender. I am ripe for the taking. I am yours, forever and always!

And now I arrive at reason number 3: not only do I want to communicate my thoughts about all this pregnant creativity I've experienced over the past few months, but also about spirituality, love, grace, forgiveness, art, friendship, family, animals, gardening, BodyTalk, and last, but never least, great food (did anyone mention pumpkin pancakes, kale, fruit loops, jalapeno poppers or 'better than sex cake'...my pregnant bodymind is open to any, and nearly all, suggestions!).

This morning while I was laying in bed (trying to practice hypnosis to get back to sleep before 5 am) I had one main thought come to me, 'Yes I Can' do a blog (Obama, thank you). Then the next thought quickly followed, what the hell was I going to call it? How can I possibly sum up art, love, babies, yes we did, spirituality, fruit loops, and then some? Then the answer came to me, like a message straight from one of my many angels...Gifts From the Divine.

For, essentially, that is what everything can be summed up by, at least from where I sit. I can happily say that this perspective has graced me in my life and that I have finally been open to hearing and receiving that grace as well. That's why I am here. Right now.

What are your favorite gifts from divinity?